Season 8, episode 08: Swish Out Of Water.
SCENE IV: Will’s Apartment
[GRACE AND JACK HAVE RETURNED FROM LUNCH.]
GRACE: Ugh. Thank God she’s gone. All that’s left of her are a few strands of pink horse hair and a few flecks of Polident.
JACK: Yeah, thank God that’s over. I could not take more than one lunch like that a year.
GRACE: I know. She’s a nightmare, right?
JACK: I’m talking about you, Mister!
JACK: I am appaled by how you treat her. That woman is your mother! Mother! You are so cruel to her!
GRACE: Me?! What about her? Did you not hear her constant insults?
JACK: I may have missed a few. She’s gotta learn to hold for laughs. But, that’s not the point. You need to treasure her insults while you can. Because one day, she’ll be gone and you’ll have to hear how much you suck from her ghost.
GRACE: You don’t know anything about it.
JACK: Oh, my dear. No one knows how to be a good daughter better than a gay son. The mother of a gay son learns to accept him for who he is. Except for the sex. The gay son learns to accept the mother for who she is. Except for the sex. Sadly, mothers and daughters rarely embark on this right of passage. Thus, they are destined to perputate a pattern of anger and bitchiness– This would be so much clearer if I had my slides.
GRACE: I’ve seen your slides. And I don’t know what two Norweigan men farming naked has to do with me and my mother.
JACK: Grace, if you want this relationship to change, you’re the one who’s going to have to change it. Please. Let me help you. Let me make you a good gay son. Except for the sex.
GRACE: Thanks. But I’ll pass. I’m as gay as I’d like to be. This morning when I was getting dressed, I actually considered putting a sock in my pants.
JACK: Well, it needs something down there.